The Adventure of Whitney and Clair

Apparently today is Best Friend Day. Until about 10 minutes ago when I saw on someone’s Facebook, I was unaware that there was even a day set aside to time with your bestie.

Today is the perfect day for Best Friend Day. On Sunday June 10th Whitney and I are sharing our six year friendiversary. That’s right! The two of us have been friends for six years and we are going to celebrate that today with high calorie Mexican food and diet cokes :)


Several people have told me how ridiculous it is for me to be so excited about a friendiversary, but the past six years with Whitney have meet a lot to me. I wouldn’t say being Whitney’s friend is always the most fun or the easiest thing, but being my friend is not either. There have been times where we have fought like crazy, ignored each other’s phone calls, and straight up not talked for a while. Each time this happened we had our reasons, sometimes it was right, and sometimes it was wrong. Most of the time when we fought it was because we knew the other girl was doing something she would regret. It is very hard to see someone you care so much about get themselves hurt.

Being that I am a reader, I have mentally divided my life into different chapters. Whitney is one of the few people, non-family members, to be in so many different chapters of my life. Being that she has been my friend through different situations, she is able to understand my reasons and feelings on different situations.





I just really want to tell Whitney that I appreciate her as a friend and that I am glad we’ve stayed so close for so long. I love you, Wikki!

Pomp and my Circumstance

Today is the day that I have been waiting for, for my entire college career. Today, is GRADUATION from college for those of us that started four short years ago, as I did, for those of us who keep to the same major, as I did, and those of us who took where full-time students, as I did.  But as many of ya'll probably know. Today is not my graduation day.

I thought that when my original graduation date rolled around, that I would be upset and disappointed that I wasn't in school, but I am not--AT ALL. I will be excited to graduate in December of this year, but there are things I need to do first. I have a small ULM Bucket List that needs to completed before I can walk through Fant-Ewing in a goofy gown and dumb hat.

One of the other reasons why I am happy to continue my college career into the fall is because of HPA--Harry Potter Alliance.  It is the first, and only, nonacademic school club I have ever been a part off. It is really cool to meet new people in different majors, which is something I am not used to. I am so looking forward to another semester hanging out in the Room of Requirements with my fellow Potter-heads.

HPA Members 2011-12

Even though I did not graduate today I have learned a lot in the last four years. Here are my top ten most important things I have learned in college.

1. Always make sure your teacher know you.  It's good to introduce your self to him the first couple weeks of class.
2. Genetics is hard. 
3. Strangers sometimes become friends, and friends sometimes become strangers.
4. You don't have to be a red-neck to look cute in waders.
5. It's good to know pick-up lines related to common majors--you never know who you'll meet.
6. Wikipedia and Google are great, but you need to be familiar with databases like JSTOR and EBSOHost
7. Full Throttle evenings often lead to Red Bull mornings.
8.  Study groups are great... but only if ya'll study.
9. It's not paranoia to save things to your flash drive, Google Documents, and your email--just in case.
10. Breathing is important.

I have two more weeks left of my "mini-summer" then four weeks of chemistry, and then I will be free to do as a please for a couple weeks before beginning the fall semester. I'm pretty excited about the fall because all of my Doomsday classes (genetics and chemistry) will be done with and I'll only have to focus on about 12 hours of classes.

As for after my graduation in December, I'm not too sure. I hope to get an internship or something. I think that is most to stall graduate school or whatever my next step is.  I am very interesting in herpetology (reptile and amphibians).  I wouldn't mind working in an outreach education position--not teaching more like at a zoo, museum, or something of that. I am interested in conservation methods. So as you can tell I'm not really sure what I want to do. If anyone knows of any ideas, I'd be happy to hear them.

Congrats to Tech and ULM graduates.

Looking into the Future from the Past

Junior High Clair

In the eighth grade my English teacher--who I despised--gave us a journal assignment.  Every week or so we would walk into the classroom and a journal topic would be on the board. We would have a couple of minutes to write our response before the normal class would start.

Today's Clair

In September 2003 (about nine years ago), our topic was "Where do you think you will be in ten years".  So, as a 12 year old I wrote about how my perfect 22 year old self would live.

"I will still be in college working on a Ph.D. in Herpetology and working part time as a zoo keeper. I will be attending a college in Virginia or North Carolina.  I plan to at least have a serious boyfriend, who shares my love of science.  By this time I have four years of Latin and two years of French. I will be successful and happy at the age of 22."



Even though I haven't exactly accomplished everything that junior high Clair thought that I would, but I think junior high Clair would be proud (or at least not disappointed in) Now Clair.

Field guides or reference books?

Happy Dance

At the beginning of the year, I wrote half a blog entry about each month of 2011, and what it was like and what I did, but I never posted it. I'm not sure why, I just never saw the need to. The jist of it though, of the post and of 2011, is that some of the people I was friend with at the beginning of 2011 are still with me (Whitney, Alyssa, Joel, Les, and Anna--who  doesn't have much of a choice) and others are not. The most surprising thing though is at the beginning of 2011, Stormy and Chelsey were just two girls that sat in the back of my herp lab by the only other person I knew. And now they are two of my best friends.

But that's enough of 2011, its twenty-twelve now. Its once again the future.  It is also the year I graduate in. Yes, the calendar I currently own has December 16th on it, the day I (once again) get all fancied up and walk around Fant-Ewing and get a piece of paper with a signature on it. This piece of paper will mean that I didn't give up and that I got what I have been waiting for my biology degree.

But what will this degree really mean? My grades may not get me into graduate school, if I chose to apply. I may not get to go to some far off land and study some unusual lizard.  I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't want to work in a zoological field.  Wildlife biology something I have ALWAYS wanted. But is it realistic? Maybe if the economy was different or if my grades were different or if the system was different.  But I am not going to blame the government, ULM, or any one else. There is a good chance that even though working with animals or working to educate people about animals is something I've wanted to do with every atom of my being, that I will not be able to do it.

I currently have a great job, that I love. I am not saying that working in the library is perfect, but it is very fulfilling. I love it when someone tells me that the book I suggested was fantastic, or when some tells me that the history project idea I found books for got their child their first A in history. Today, I had a lady tell me that she would always be grateful for something I did for her back in the summer--to be honest I had forgotten I'd helped her out back then.

I love my job, and I love encourage people to read, but I don't know if that is what I am meant to do. I don't know if library will be obsolete in a couple years. What if when I turn forty I'll look back and regret giving up waders and field guide for pencil skirts and reference books. I know it is normal at 21 to not know what you want to do with you life, but I always thought I was immuned to this feeling, because I always knew what I wanted to do.


“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.”  --Stephen Chbosky

Disinterest

One hundred hours of credit completed,
Two more semesters to go,
Three and a half years completed,
Four year degree,
Five different calendar years at ULM,

Spider outside of Joel's house

I know that it is normal to not graduate on time, but it is none the less frustrating. Many of the people I have had classes with have applied for graduation or plan to in the spring.  It makes me slightly envious, and a little bit sad to see people moving on and moving away, but mostly it makes me tired. I am so tired of school, of course work, and of waking up every morning to learn things that don't seem relevant.  I don't know why I am yearning to graduate, probably because I'm just looking for some change in my life. I'm getting bored with: school, library, home, repeat. As soon as I graduate I'll just have to get a "real" job, and my life will be work, home, sleep, repeat for years and years. So I don't know why I want out of school so badly. I think the reason is, I'm pretty much done with my "woah" classes. The classes where I continuously think "Woah, that's really cool" or "Woah, I had no idea that happened". The only classes I have left are lame: English, stats, organic chemistry--BLEK! No woah, no ah-ha, no interest. I miss chasing salamanders, vivisecting crawfish, observing microbes, setting beaver traps, and identifying leaves. Now there is only carbon chains and unobservable operons.  Trying to learn about all these seemingly abstract things is very frustrating, and more than anything tiring. I am tired all the time.

Yesterday, I went to a lecture presented by Dr. Daley-Engle, she gave a fantastic lecture about shark and there sexual dimorphism. It held my interest, I learned a little about sharks, sexual habit in the animal kingdom, and about different mating habits--all very interest, but not the most important thing I learned from her lecture. I realized that even though genetics seems abstract, I need to learn it if I want to do field research, or be successful in graduate school. I always viewed genetics as one of those classes that I just had to get through to get my degree, but I have realized that genetics is something I actually need.  Hopefully, this new outlook of these course will make genetics more interesting to me. Hopefully, it will make it easier to study, and hopefully therefore easier learn. 

So, hopefully I'll be able to stay interested in the next two and half semesters. Or at least interested enough to do well. Hopefully, the weekends and Thanksgiving Break will be enough to get me recharged to finish out this semester without going nuts.  Hopefully, I'll be able to be interested enough to care.

With a Little Help from My Friends

Sometimes its the littlest things that make the biggest difference.

Canoeing on Bayou Desaird

Like someone texting you "Good Luck" before you have a big test, or someone just asking you if your okay, when it is obvious that you aren't.  You really know that someone cares about you when they realize that your favorite Icee flavor isn't at the gas station, and so ya'll go to another to find it.  When someone makes you yellow cake cupcakes with chocolate frosting, that is certainly a sign that your friend cares about you.  Friendship is sometimes is a fifteen minute phone call talking about nothing in particular, but it is at the exact right time. And sometimes its a text that says a lot more than just the two sentences on the screen. A good friend knows that sunflowers mean more than gerber daisies. Most important your friends never stifle your you-i-ness, they help you be the youiest you that you ever could be.

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

 Hello People of the Interwebz!


Its been a little while since I've updated.  Well, I have started back school--my senior year! Once again, I am being submerged in science, and once again I love it.  I'm taking two biology classes, two geology class, and organic chemistry.  I love learning about dinosaurs, minerals, heredity, and homologous organs, and I guess alkenes and the likes aren't too bad.

I really don't have much to say. I like school. I like work. I every much like my evolution class especially because of Joel's and Stormy's company.  Its a very interesting class and probably my favorite of the semester, but I'm not in a biology lab this semester.

Grasshopper that I saw at the La Purchase Zoo on Labor Day.

I miss not having a biology lab. I got so used to putting on my boots or waders and catching amphibians, learning how to identify specific oak trees, or looking at gram stains under the scopes. I miss just bio lab so much.  It makes me think that I may be leaning towards a career in field biology that would require graduate school. I would love to go to graduate school and study ecology, but I also think that a career working in a natural history museum would be cool.  I know that I would love either career path. Musuems or the outdoors? Dress pants or waders? Two very different career paths with so many options. 

I am not a spring chicken any more. As of Saturday I am 21.  Does this give me anymore clarity on what career path to chose? No, of course not, but it does kind of mark the beginning of a new era.  Friday I was twenty, but now I am in my twenties.  Does this make me feel old?  Kinda.  Am  I having my quarter life crisis?  I think I already did that after I turned 20.

My two besties! Wikki and Eagle Eye

Well, that's really all I'm going to leave you with a fun fact like usual.

*~*Megalosaurus was the first dinosaur ever described scientifically.*~*

"Thursday will be better." --Alyssa

Today was the third say of my seventh semester.  The end is in sight.


So, the Wednesday before my final in chemistry.  I was miserable. I was freaking out over school,  and work, and money, and Alyssa going to Boston, and Joel being in limbo, and Stormy's silence, and Chelsey not being at school with me, and basically anything else I could think about to worry about.  I left my study group when my eye were filled with tears, I knew there was no point in crying in front of my study group--it was just time to go home.  I called Alyssa, she told me that Thursday would be better.  So, I spent the better part of an hour telling her that Thursday would not be better.  But in fact Thursday was better; Thursday was fantastic.

Clair and Ace chillin in the SUB first day of school.

That Thursday was a turning point.  It didn't fix the world, but enough things were fixed that the others are manageable. On that Thursday, I passed general chemistry.  On that Thursday, things with Stormy got better.  On that Thursday, I got  promoted to circulation--the job I've wanted for the past 4 1/2 years at the library.  And on Friday, Joel transferred to ULM.  Alyssa went to Boston, Chelsey's not at ULM, school is still expensive, and classes are still challenging, but its okay. That's life.  There's no such thing as perfect, but there's such thing as happy.

                                     

A baby anole my mom found.

Now, classes have started.  I'm excited for this semester. I'm ready to learn something new and interesting.

*~*Not-so-Fun Fact:  AIDS causes more death globally than car wrecks and war combined.*~*

I don't want to talk about it.

Hello World!  Remember me?!  I'm Clair and guess what?!!  Yep, you've guess it. Chemistry Camp is over.  How did I do? Not sure yet, all my marble are on this last test. 

First of all I would like to say a super huge thank you to everyone who has prayed, crossed their fingers, or sent me happy thoughts during the past month.  I'd also like to apologize to those who have been subjected to my bad moods, rants, or those who had to try and understand me between sobs.  Its funny how I have gone from crying hysterically curled up on Erin's sofa to literally dancing in the library in a matter of a couple hours.Thank ya'll for your patience and encouragement. 


Over the past month, most of y'all have probably heard me utter the phrase "I don't want to talk about it". Well, sometimes I just don't want to talk about something.  Maybe its because I don't want to think about that topic, maybe its because I know that I'll start crying if I talk about it, maybe its because I haven't organized my thoughts enough to know how I think about it, or simply maybe because I don't think its your business.  Just remember, me not wanting to talk about something doesn't necessarily mean I am shutting you out.

Okay, so that is as much I'm going to talk about "not talking about it".

*~*~*FUN FACT: The largest amphibian is a salamander from China coming in at a whooping 6ft long. *~*~*

Greetings from Camp Chemistry

The most challenging part about getting your wildlife biology degree isn't learning the organs of a crawfish, the Order, Family, Genus, and Species of Louisiana's mammals, or identifying flat worms.  Its not even learning to do a gram stain or catching turtles in Black Bayou.  Nor is it trigonometry, Spanish, or the geology class.  The most frustrating, tiring and down-right painful part about getting a biology degree is chemistry.

I know what  you are thinking, "Clair! you're a senior.  You're about to start your seventh semester and you only need four semesters of chemistry."  Well, not only an I taking this chemistry as a summer course, its not my last. I have two more to follow.

To be honest, chemistry scares me.  Chemicals, equilibria, equations, acids, bases, and carbons everywhere it scares me.  In previous semesters whenever I have had chemistry, especially the labs, I feel so sick.  My stomach is in knots and I want to just turn and run.  My nerves aren't as bad in the summer,  maybe its bc I know that I just have to get this class done or maybe its bc I have lab 3 afternoons a week and I don't have all weekend to get nervous about it.  Regardless, its nice to walk into the lab without having to puke. 

I have a C in the course right now.  I made an A in the first chem, but I am working my booty off for that class.  It makes me nervous to think that not only do I need to pass this class, but I have to have enough of an understanding to be able to do well in my organic chemistries. Its hard to care about a course when you know that you aren't going to use it in your career. I either want to work in a natural history museum or do field work.  Neither field seems like an understanding of bond angles or the Arrhenius equation is necessary, but whatever.  I have to understand it, so I can get my degree.  Not for my career, but for my degree.

So, to all my friends that haven't seen me lately, I'm sorry--chemistry is to blame.  Sry, I just have to learn this mess.  My final is Aug. the 11th, so I'll see ya'll after that.  Keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer for me!


**Fun Fact about Chemistry:  The letter J is the only letter not found on the periodic table.**

Leaving Hogwarts

The summer after fifth grade my mom bought me a relatively short paper-back book that I had no interest in reading.  Unfortunately, that year it was a required read in my sixth grade Language Arts class.  I had no idea  how much a children's book could change me life. It was about what it meant to be a true friend, about belonging, and about how family didn't always meant those kin to you.  Later as the book series, and I, matured, I realized it was also about choosing good or evil, how to thrive even when our past is a dark place, and it showed how sometimes the lines between good and evil can be blurry and confusing.  Some people may not let their children read these books bc the witch craft and the dark themes, and you know what I feel sorry for any child whose parent won't let them read a story about a boy who had all the reason in the world to turn out evil and cold-heart, but bc of love he chose the right choices and made earth better because of it. I feel like I have been on this journey with Harry Potter for a longer time and it sad to see it end.


Seeing the final installment of the Harry Potter phenomenon is bitter-sweet. I love how I was able to share this with my friends, but it was also hard to see it end.  After each book, I felt like Hogwarts was waiting on JK Rowling to finish  the next book so I could enter into its halls once more.  In a way its kind of like graduating high school.  You know that the memories will always be there, but it will never quite be the same; except, at least with high school the excitement of college was close to follow.  What's to follow Harry?


To be honest, the Harry Potter series isn't the best book series I've ever read, its not the best written, or even the most original, but in a way I think it helps define who I am in a small way.  Harry is the boy who lived, but I am a girl who grew up with that boy.  I think there will always be a part of me waiting for a half-giant with a magic umbrella to show up at the door. 

I'd like you thank JK Rowling for teaching me about true friendships and  the value of family, for telling the world that maybe the ones we think are bad are just misunderstood.  Thanks for not only giving us heroes like Harry who were destined for greatness, but for the heroes, like Neville, who became great.  Thanks for letting us Muggles share in the adventures of Hogwarts.

You can check out pics from our Harry Potter Party on my fb and on http://www.thenewsstar.com/ on the gallery section.

Mango Shaped-space

I had a fantastic trip to San Antonio and was planning to have a chill-week before me, Anna, and Alyssa venture to New Orleans.  When we got back from our trip Dominoes, the cow-spotted "middle-child" cat, was there to greet us all with her obnoxious meow.  Lightning and Fey weren't there, but we dismissed any worry from our minds, because Lightning often disappears for several days after we go on a trip, and this was Fey's first time home without us.  We figured she was acting like big brother Lightning.  It was Tuesday and we still hadn't seen Fey, and none of the neighbors had seen her since the Tuesday before. After calling and calling for her, one of the kids in the neighborhood found her under a tree.  Fey's back legs weren't working and she was obviously dehydrated.  They scooped her up brought her home, gave her water and food and got her comfy.  After getting hydrated get tail began to move a little, then one of her back legs.  Things looked bad, but she's a kitten and surely, we thought, she would be okay.  The vet said otherwise.  While at work, I got a call from Dad, who was crying. He told me they were going to have to put her down; she had a crushed pelvis, unfixable. I collapsed into tears and spent a good bit of time sitting on the floor of the staff bathroom cry. 

I only had Fey for about 9 months since October, but I loved her from the very beginning.  After Mischief died in August (after a long healthy cat life--13 years old). I didn't think I could love another cat so quickly.  Fey was a remarkable kitten. She loved books, not a reader but she loved to sleep and play on my book shelf. She also loved picture frames; she loved knocking over the same picture frames nearly everyday.  Most time she didn't like to cuddle, but every once in awhile she was a cuddly-kitten and wouldn't let you get more then 3 or 4 feet away from her.  There was many times that I had to let her sit in my bathroom while I was in the shower or she would cry.  Sometimes as she waited to me to get out the shower she would start crying, until I'd tell her "Don't worry Fey, I'm right here." And as soon as she heard or saw me peek through the shower curtain she would stop crying. 


I am going to miss her bringing in dead skinks and half dead birds. I am going to miss hiding ANYthing with a feather on it from her. And I am even going to miss her waking me up because she's crying about being lonely or her sleeping on top of me.




When we first got Fey, Anna used to say I'm going to cry when Baby-kitty grows into a cat.  Now, we are sorry that she never got the opportunity to grow up to be a beautiful black cat, and I think that is the worse thing about this. We had such a short time with this precious kitten.  It upsets me to think that there are thousands of unwanted cats in the area, and the one the had to be put down was the cat I wanted most in the world.

Once it was Fey that cried because she was lonesome and missed me, but now I'm the on crying for her.  I'll miss you, Fey.

One Ocean, a zoo, and a cave.

So, this past week has been super-duper busy.  SeaWorld, the San Antonio Zoo, botanical gardens, the Cave without a Name, and a cactus nursery.  To most this may seem like a field trip, but to me this is a vacation.

 When in SeaWorld we saw three different shows.  The first show was a combination of acrobats and animal tricks. It was called Azul and featured beluga whales and common dolphins (not to be confused with bottle-nosed dolphins, which to me seem to be more common).  This show had a lot of people and animals in it, the costumes where interesting and the animals just beautiful.  The second show, was a comedy using mostly otters and sea lions, but also a walrus at the end.  This one was most actors, but the animals were really cute and well-trained.  The best show by far was One Ocean, it was the biggest and most spectacular show. It had many orcas in it, and was just astonishing.  The trainers were not a part of the show, they were more like techies in a play, than actors.  This show's message was about oneness and how all things on earth are connected.  Each of us plays a role and our mistakes can effect the other "family members".   I thought that it was a good message, but that the show as a whole seemed preachy and not well delivered.


We also went to the San Antonio Zoo.  Being that I am a be fan of zoo, I have been to many, and this was defiantly one of the better zoos.  Everything was labeled very well, there were lots so of diversity in species.  Often times in zoo's "reptile" house there are other animals lumped in, like frogs, scorpions, and other creepy critters, but this zoo had a separate house for amphibians and reptiles, which I thought was a nice touch.  I really loved seeing the okapi because the are such unique and beautiful animals that many people don't even know they exist.  In their nocturnal house there was an intern who answered questions about the bats and they had night vision glass to view there animals through--which was very cool.  As far as zoos go I give this one an A+ and suggest that even if you are not an animal person if you are ever in San Antonio to visit this outstanding zoo.   


I am defiantly more of an animal person than a plant person, so the botanical garden was a little dull to me, plus the ba-zillion degree weather didn't help.  But, I did enjoy seeing bromeliads after going a project of them last semester for Plant Diversity Lab.  The orchids were also very pretty.  The cactus nursery was just a typical plant nursery with rows of plants waiting to be taken home.  Dad is like a kid a candy store at plant nurseries, and was about to find several cacti and succulents to take home to humid Monroe.

The final place we went to in San Antonio was the Cave without a Name.  This was the third cave I've been too, but the first for Catherine and Camille. The other cave I have visited were all in the Appalachian Mountains and this one was in the Hill of Texas so it was a bit different.  I think I appreciate caves more after taking several geology classes.  I especially enjoyed the animals that were down in the cave.  We saw two types of frogs--leopard frog and another type I'm not familiar with, and there was also a bat, but I don't know what time. It is just really cool to me that anything can live in a dark, stone world.

**Fun Fact: The only mammal where the female is normally taller than the male is the Okapi**

In hopes of meeting Shamu

Monday I, Clair Calhoun, will mark one more thing off my childhood bucket list.  We're going to sea world!!! Being the Bio Geek that I am, I'm super excited about seeing the dolphins, seals, and other marine animals. I very much hope that this won't be a disappointment, bc often time when ppl get to go somewhere they have wanted to go since they were a kid, it became hyped in the mind.

I hope that I learn more about the animals I encounter this week, and that my sisters appreciate them more. And I also hope we don't get kick out for Anna's dolphin impersonation.

Not only are we going to SeaWorld, we are also going to the Alamo, a botanical garden, and to a soccer game in Dallas. (Woo-hoo go FC DALLAS)  The Alamo seems like it'll be pretty boring--but that mostly is because its not the time in history that interests me the most.  The botanical garden should be good too as long as the weather in good.  We will do some other fun stuff too, of course I just don't really know what.

Did you know....?  A Killer Whale (Orca) is actually a dolphin.  Orcas are the biggest species of dolphin and are about the size of a school bus.

365 Days Ago

Clair at the top of Roan(e) Mountain

      So, exactly a year ago I was in Virginia, it was my first full day of my Wildlife Internship. I was happy and smiling and ready to change the world by helping save one baby animal at a time. I had no idea how much that summer would change the rest of the year. A year ago if I had introduced myself to you, I may have said that I wanted to save hurt animals, that I was in the fourth year of a relationship with my high school sweetheart, or that I have had the same job since high school. None, of this things are true now.

I have changed so much in this past year, its hard for me to realize that it took only a year for all these change to happen. It hasn't been easy, but with the support of Alyssa, Whitney, and Anna it has been bearable. Last June and July, I was in Roanoke, Virginia and I was miserable. I wasn't enjoying my internship, I missed my home, my friends, and everything that was familiar about Monroe, Louisiana. I felt like an outsider with my Louisiana accent and felt immature when I couldn't join the other girls just bc i wasn't 21 yet. I felt childish for missing Monroe so much, bc it was my first time to be away from the comfort and familiarity of home. And the entire time I was tired, I was always tired--emotional and mentally. I was working 11 hours a day most days and felt like I was just patching up road kill. When I left the basement I was working in, I would walk across a yard to the basement I was living in. In my mind all I could think of would be the failures of that day--the vomiting raccoons, mangled deer, rabbits with their skin falling off. You would think that the only escape would be the couple hours a night of sleep--Wrong. As I slept the horrors of the day creeped into my dreams, my dreams made it where there was no escape at all.

I tried to learn to enjoy being alone--what was my other option. On my days off, (which seems few and far between) I was able to go to the Mill Mountain Zoo, Center in the Square ( a super museum with different museums on each floor), drive on the Blue Ridge Parkway, and see Eclipse. I enjoyed doing each of these things, but I did each of them alone. It made me more homesick for Rose, Whitney, and Micah. Being away, helped some one my relationships and hurt (or even possibly ended) others. In the evenings, if I wasn't at the Rehab Center I sometimeswatched TV with Rose, well with Rose on the phone. Also, the time away from Whitney made us realize how much we needed each other and to not stress over the little bumps of friendship (and I am so glad we made up that summer bc I had no idea how much I would need her when school started that fall). That summer was especially hard on me and Micah. I sometimes wonder if it was the reason we broke up or at the last straw on the camel's back. Regardless, it was hard on both of us, but it was the right choice.

It might seem that those two months are what made me change so much in the past year, but that is not necessarily true. When I got home there was only a few days before school started. Anna moved into the dorms, and she, Whitney, and Alyssa (half of the time) were all at the same school as me—(THANK GOODNESS). To be honest having Anna and Whitney go to school with me made me nervous at first. It would be weird to have Anna be around my ULM friends and I had never been to the same school as Whitney and I was worried about it changing the dynamic of our friendship. Having these three girls at the same school as me is probably the only reason why I’m still alive.

So, when school started last August life was a little different, Anna wasn’t at home, but I saw her nearly every day at school, I wasn’t working for the library, and then the second day of school I broke up with Micah. Wow, that was a big change. I saw him more than anyone of my other friends. Nearly every friend I had was “our” friend and not “my” friend. It was so strange being single for the first time since I was 16, none of my college friends had ever known me as just Clair. It was confusing at first, I didn’t know what do on the weekends or who to call to tell when I got off work or went to bed. The decision to end my relationship with Micah was a super hard decision and is probably the reason for most of the change this past year. With the support and help of my friends I was able to not only get over it, but enjoy life more than I had in years. I was able to go visit Les in Baton Rouge, spend nearly every night at Whitney’s during winter break, and be able to have countless girl’s nights. Single life’s was so fun, so spontaneous.

I realize know that when one friend enters a new chapter of her life and the other does not (or enters a completely different chapter) that it changes the dynamic of the friendship. When the dynamic of a friendship it confuses scares ppl and sometimes it hurts us. Scared, hurt girls are much like a cornered animal, often time they do or say something hurtful to someone she loves. I’d like to apologize to one of my friends that I have hurt this past year. I have no real excuse or reason to why I was so hateful, but I am sry. And even though we are at different places in our lives right now, I still love you and miss watching Youtube videos with you.

Because of the changes in friendships and relationships, this past semester I was able to meet a pair of fantastic girls with similar interests as me. It is amazing to me that just a couple of months ago I only knew them by name and know we are as close as we are. I think that the best decision I made this semester was to take herpetology, yes it was fun and informative, but more importantly than that it allowed me to meet Stormy and Chelsey. These two have introduced me to many other friends this semester; I have shared a million laughs and a hundred inside jokes with these girls, and even survived meet a giant copperhead. I am glad that I will have Stormy in like every one of my classes next semester and wish that Chelsey would still be at ULM with us.

Through this year has been a year of immense change, I’m still Clair and I still have my family and friends to support me as I try to finish college and figure out what the next step of life is. I know that over this next year there will be change to and it may not always be fun and first, but that there is a reason for it. One of the changes that I know will happen in the next year is that Alyssa will be moving to Boston. I know it will be hard on me and Anna to see her leave, and it will be hard for her to go but I wish her the best and I know this is what is right for Alyssa. I have no idea what I am going to do without this girl.

So, as my senior year of college begins and as my summer begins. I say bring it.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck?

The other day this man accidentally hit a opossum coming around the curve on a road. He gets out the car and sees that the opossum is dead, but notices something funny about its belly, it was wiggly. As he looks closer he realizes that there are six babies in the pouch. He removes the babies and brings them into the rescue center.

It was tough to see those baby opossums because the moment me and the other interns saw them; we knew that they didn't have a chance of survival. They were just too small and there just wasn't a way to feed them; all we could do is make the babies comfortable in their last couple of hours. It is always easy to feel positive when things are going well, but when you see "lost causes" it makes me feel like I am working a a hospice center and not a rescue center.


It has been very rewarding seeing the orphaned animals grow up. It is most evident in the raccoons. Last Thursday, we were able to place five of the older raccoons in an outdoor enclosure. On Tuesday we will move six more outside. To move a raccoon outside the raccoon must be fully weened of milk and eating solid food well. Also, the raccoon must be a decently good climber, and socialize well with other raccoons. It is hard for the raccoons to be outside for the first couple of days; there are some many new smells and sounds that sometimes frighten them. The first two night the raccoons moved outside there were severe thunderstorms, I stayed up most of the night worrying about them.

Also, we got in 5 new raccoons in the past three or four days. One of the new raccoons had so many ticks in his ear. Most of the time when ticks are in the raccoons' ears they are on the outter ear, but this time the ticks were attached to the ear canal. It took a long time for me and Stefanie to get the ticks out of his ear because he was scared and panicking, but we were able to get them all out. All of the new raccoons seem healthy now. Two of them were dehydrating on arrival, but are fine now. In total we have 31 raccoons of all ages, some are the size of my palm and other are the size of a cocker spaniel.


Released animals in the past couple weeks:

• Group of 5 adolescent skunks
• Three legged adult opossum
• Group of 4 Groundhogs
• Pair of Chipmuncks and a single chipmunk
  
• Family of 5 Wild rabbits
  

Did you know: Groundhogs are also known as woodchucks, whistling pigs, or land-beaver.

Plans to protect air and water, wilderness and wildlife are in fact plans to protect man. --Stewart Udall

I have not been able to blog for the past couple of days due to the fact that our internet has not been working. It seems that a lot of things have not been working, including; the toilet, the microwave, the internet, and the bathroom sink. Now, with the exception of the bathroom all of those thing are fixed.


We have so many fawns come in, now we have over thirty. There is a group of 16 that are living in a fenced in area, overnight and it nice to see there progress. We currently have 31 raccoons, of all of the raccoons seem to have different ages, patterns, and personalities. I never realized how diverse raccoons are. Some of the coon's coats are very dark and mostly black, while other are also blonde or have hint of red. They also have many different personalities.


Several times we have been able to take the juvy raccoons outside to play in the grass. They are so adorable playing in the grass and playing with flowers. The raccoons are able to chase fly and bumblebees and smell new smells. It just shows that the are one step closer to being released.


Its hard sometimes to be out here, so far away from West Monroe, where everything is familiar, but I feel like I have learned a lot so far. Not just about wildlife, but also about different regions of the United States and how what is normal and common for a Virginians is foreign or wierd to someone who has lived in Ouachita Parish the majority of her life.


"If you want to save a species, simply decide to eat it. Then it will be managed - like chickens, like turkeys, like deer, like Canadian geese. "
Ted Nugent

Week 2--Massive Deer Death

Sometimes it is rally changeling to be up here. For example, last week we had a several deer died and all of our deer got diarrhea. And let me tell you 25 deer with diarrhea is not a fun thing. So, the intern coordinator and the internships (me and 3 other girls in their early twenties) were on a mission to figure out what had to the deer. First, we thought it may be a bacteria that causes scoures, a disease found in cervids. The four interns disinfected the entire deer garage and disinfected the deer's enclosures. Also, we started giving the deer antibiotics to fight the bacteria lurking in the deer intestine.


After two days the deer were still sick and two more had died. We brainstormed to see if we could figure out what was wrong with the deer: what it a viral infection, a flat worm parasite, or something we did wrong? Our coordinator ask us when the deer's health started to deterriorate. I said it was right after we bought a new bag of food. That's when we realized that it most be the goat-milk powder we use to make the deer's milk replacement formula. One of the girls checked the label on the bag of formula powder and realized it was a higher concentration then the bag we'd used the week before.


None of us ever considered that the milk was killing the deer. It was the same brand of formula mix as the first mix we used and it was for the same age animal. But this time we bought the 50lb bag instead of the 15lb bag. And the concentration was different. THe 15lb bag requires two cups of water to every cup of powder, whereas; the 50lb bag requires a 3:1 ratio.


Once we realized our mistake we were about to fix it and the deer are going well, but it sucks knowing that if one of us had taken 20 seconds to read the bag that 6 fawns would still be alive.

Week 1

Sunday marked the end of my first week at Roanoke Wildlife Rescue in southern Virginia. I had no idea it was going to be this much work. I worked 8 days straight, most days I worked 11-13 hours.

There are four interns total. Two of them are local and the other girl is from Chicago. The four of us girls are in charge of the care of the rabies vector animals (raccoons, skunks, foxes). We also have a large role in the care of the fawns. We have new animals coming in every day.

I am learning about animal care, veterinary methods, and other skills.